Anger Management for the Dinosaurs

Dr Seow is so funny I really enjoy his lectures (: Today will be the last LSM lecture, a revision. And honestly, having not studied/revised finish I really shouldn't be here but ah well!
I can't believe this sem is ending, I guess none of you who are left reading this can believe so too, since I haven't blogged here all sem haha. My bad. Hostel stay has shockingly reduced my blogging, oh finally something to stop this blog addict. Back to the sem, however, I really feel like school barely started actually but it's time to wake up my idea, with barely one week to finish my Math + Bio.

Hall stay has fitted surprisingly okay for me, given how against I was to making friends when I first came in. I'm still reserved when I meet fresh face around hall (yes yes surprise surprise) but I'm not as scary anymore I guess (hope). Made some really good friendships I'd like to keep in hall, I'm glad for them  Vic, for one, for her all accepting of me teehee <: Yanling for always trying to inject faith and hope (I'd miss you terribly when you leave, I will! :( ) Ganda for being my alarm cock awww what a sexy voice every morning hahahah! SQuek for being the best bro everrrrrrrrr, best LB best idiot haha. Barry for being the fattest motivation & support teehee. Ben!!! BenKwan for being the coolest support around. 6 floor babes haha though I hate being a babe (ugh omg) haha love yall & thanks for saving me everytime I get constipation.

Awwwwww so lovely hurhur. & of course all the people who are still in my life despite the distance now (mostly eastsiders heehee) e.g. Louise Brandon (oh Westlife-r) Imranooooo Jamieee Ibrahim Zoey BenHo & SN friends hee Clar Rteo. Aiyuh I'm so glad for all my friendships :')

Come the new sem (& more sems to come I sincerely hope) I wish that I will be able to keep up with school especially given how crazily competitive (AND BORING) ChemEngine is. Still wonder if ChE was a mistake but I must say my BestBroBud is a brilliant motivation to keep myself within the course awwww we're so gay.

Life is not all that well from day to day actually, but when we look back at all the things we can be grateful for, life is still wonderful <:

Workaholic's at a pause.

My chapter for working is coming to a close now and all that remains is my tuition now. I simply cannot believe it and right now I'm at my emotional state where I need to pen down about how important my jobs were/are to me. And it is necessary, too, before I close this chapter and move along to my next (school, new friends, a war). The crazy jobs I took on that robbed me of my social life and whatnot, while I neglect poor people like RTeo/Zoey/Matthew(haha)/Tiff/Jamie/Mong/YY/etc.

Piano Frontdesk
Prolly my most boring ever and pointless job but it, along with it's meaninglessness has taught me alot. At least I figured about excel and realised there's so much you can actually do with it! Interaction with rich parents, little nonsensical children, dealing with bosses and of course, falling in love with the prettiest cute-est caucasian kids ever :) It might have been a drag sometimes, but valuable skills (like talking on the phone about official stuff, though I still freak out) will stay and I'm glad for it nonetheless (:

Tuitioning
The job that will remain with me after all these job frenzy (I guess) as the most practical and worth it. All the patience I'm just continuing to build, all the teaching skills I'm getting, oh and my weekly allowances haha. But man it draws out all my energy really, how I always feel totally drained out after a session omg I'm shocked at how Tiff could tuition me so well :/ And though I know it's nothing much really (just secondary school work) I'm glad I took up tuitioning because at least my brain is not completely down the drain. I'm just wondering how I can last through uni if 1 and half hours of tuition kills me ):

AK camps
Probably taught me the most, exposed me to the most different kind of people and made me feel the most useful / like life is meaningful. I'd probably still return to coach when thhe opportunity arises, knowing me, a clean break is not easy. My on and offs, my striving for the best, the pressure to perform well, the fun we had, the lessons I've drawn. The company I've gained is exceptional, too, I must mention. And no matter how little I believe in some things I preach, this job has nonetheless made me alot more positive and happy. I remember how good a distraction it was for me from the whole E issue and then it turned out to be so much of a blessing keeping me so darn constantly tired. Before I knew it, I was thrown out of my comfort zone to grow and no matter how bad things got, it was always that positive energy crawling all about. Best days were coaching with YJ gang days actually, never forget the experiences we shared - night crazy stay up with Ibra / Matnur's marching / Yuhang's attempt to prove that he doesn't sleep early / Jerrald&Limhui's ADHD moments all the time / The Circle (& whatever shapes) / game game time / omg too many too mention.

(Zhiling face omg I still remember)

Yeah, everytime I chance upon USS photos, this overwhelming feel of missing the AK people washes over, I can almost hear MatNur's voice. (I daresay his expressions are classic, btw)
And of course all the individual camps I've done and all the memories I've brought along with me. Keeping in touch with certain students, awkwardly meeting some of them on the streets .. haha jokes.

Starbucks OE
Oh it seemed only yesterday I was cowering in the corner hoping never to be caught in the morning crowd. The memory of feeling so alone and bullied, bussing all the time to keep myself busy so I'd never go wrong (steaming bad milk, etc.) I must say, Alan's arrival did make my life a whole lot better hahaha but more than anything, I knew deep down, I've grown into the family. Likewise, it's either OE or nothing for me, by now. I can still remember who taught me what, Lyn - Frappe / Noor - Prep work / Afiq - Steaming milk / Syahmi - closing / zying - everything in barista life :D How I've grown just so attached to everyone omg I wanna die leaving I know I'm going to miss work so much and no, part time work tempt is not helping ): But I must be realistic and with the pathetic pay I get from this nonsense, I know I can't fill my tummy :/ Nonetheless, the knowledge I've gained from this priceless experience is one precious to me, no matter how I know maybe no one cares to talk about coffee. Interacting with the highest class of people, and of course, act-classy people always the key detail in my future. But personally, I'm proud to be able to tell the difference between a Ristretto shot and a regular one, proud to be able to steam such marvelous milk <:
Btw, LT drop by after his work especially just to say bye omg I'm beyond touched (': I'm going to steal that polaroid soon heehee ^^ Sweetest customer ever. Cheryl dropped by too heehee I've got marvelous friends <:

Mew Mew Mew Mew x 999999

Haha thanks to Noor the bad photographer.

Totally laughing at the ribbon haha. Thanks for all the times we talked about you being a playboy and all, please treat your girlfriend well.

Heehee Noor the heartwarming for the last. (totally elation when she finally admitted she's going to miss me omg ) She's gotta be the most annoying ever haha but one who treats us the best. Forever going to realise that I always look out for what she taught me in my first days - top up ice / prep work.
& Syahmi's photo with Cheryllllll

Moving on from this is going to be sibei difficult.

--

With all these, no wonder my social life was near non-existence. But given any other choice, I'd have done it all over again, live a life most fulfilled for I haven't regretted anything. The experience so precious and priceless, life lessons I'm going to bring for the rest of my life (and of course, some relationships I hope to carry with life too - N/I/T) And as I ponder upon my dream/ambition for the future, I worry that I'd be bored with whatever I have to handle with given my work experience. But I know I will overcome all the nonsense, I'd get the penthouse before I pass on (:
Before any of that, though, it's time to put all these behind me (ugghhhhh how?) and fight my war in a land of unknown and fight my social phobia haha. Back to schooling (non stop judgements, non stop competition) but until tomm morn when I report back to camp for pool games (where to hide my fats?) I'd bask in my happiness heehee.

So I haven't been updating this space for what seems forever haha what a joke. Supposed to blog about the Switz trip but life caught up and now everything is just a little too busy to be updating about it itself. My life has been in a complete mess, not mentioning I'm a complete mess myself. But my wonderful close friends (whom I've grown even closer to) make it all okay and make me feel whole in the end anyway.

I wanted to blog but then I deleted the whole chunk of it and decide to wait for the Switz photos to return (with my mother in US now) and blog about (whatever remains in my memory) it instead. I'm at the stage where things that I blog about are simply too personal to be shared with a website linked to my Facebook account.

Cynic as I am, I'd like to proclaim (again, and again) how happy and lucky I feel whenever I think about friends <:

Life of a Camp Coach,

The previous few days have marked the few of my best camps, and perhaps one of my worst as well. I'm paying for my ambition embark on these camps with crazy aches and unbelievable tire but I'm happy. Happy i'm fortunate enough for all these.

Maris Stella noMADic was one to remember. My first noMADic, it has undoubtly left a mark in me. The boys were precious and they taught me more than ever. I was thankful that not all of them were like Gareth, or Charles, as a matter of fact. Through the times to give up, and triumph, they were a bunch of special boys. The chairman, a bundle of joy. The vicechair, the sweet little boy who fell sick and had to go home. The Chinaboy who reminded me how we could all just be happy being so joyful myself, who touched me when he noticed just how injured I was. Yes, indeed, they've grown, dared to take the step out of their comfort zone, while they taught me the meaning of brotherhood. I now really understand how this 'brother' feel really works. How they may dislike someone or not be able to stand each other, but still look out for each other at the end of the day. Selflessly help each other out. <: Of course, it's when I met few of most unsual coaches about. Haha thanks 'tall tall one'.

Kranji Lost! Nomadic was quite a mess really, when I placed my faith and trust in the most ahbeng leader ever. The children were lovely, haha I'm wondering how are they ever gonna find me on Facebook, but let them (: I was moved when the little girl asked for a hug when she left, at Primary5, she's a brilliant leader and will grow to be a fine lady (: Talk about girl power muwhaha, the boys were a drag HAHA.

WestSpring Leadership Camp was simply a highlight really, for me. At 15 years old, these leaders really surprised me with their maturity level and their ability to lead. With a group of 11, I've learnt so much from them really, hoping I didn't mess the camp up. I'm in complete awe of Yingshan the dance chair, fully convinced she will grow up to succeed. Their school culture is one to respect and their students, to love. Minus some rude boy who pushed the line, it was a lovely experience really. I was about to believe how Yixuan was selected simply for his height when he proved himself wrong, standing there so tall, so full of pride. I really hope I made the difference to him, wished he knows how much more he is capable of. The teacher, lovely to work with, I'm thankful Tim took me into his camp. Of course, this camp had one of the strongest lineups and I was pressured beyond my comfort zone. Admiration for Matthew continues to grow as he took on the camp finally, back to back. Ben who aced his first camp - in my opinion. If only he stopped bullying me uhem uhem!! (I'm that fun to bully huh) Arul who seriously look like he's gonna grow wings any time and fly off haha, and his experiences and skills to share. Shimin such a sweet girl, and Rachael who is such a fun person to be around haha. I so do not act cute!! ZhenYuan who slogged it out for love hahahaha, and made all the effort to talk. And of course, Tim. I realised that both times I took on him camp, quite in a mess, put into and out of the camps, and both times I did better than I expected. Of course, I hardly knew how I fared (still waiting his verdict) but I'm thankful for this opportunity. And ever more to learn from the special boy himself. <:

At the moment I'm craving for everything sinful, on the verge of falling sick. I'm completely deprived of movies and I really want to go catch them, with no company or time :/ I'm missing alot of people as well, but I guess it doesn't really matter. I'm dreading the trip, because that just means I'd be missing a hell lot of things. - if only it made a difference to people too.

I'm fully touched by the stranger who is commenting on my football posts hahah. Thank you, for making my days whenever I read your heartfelt comments (: You're a brilliant writer yourself, and thank you for reading I'm sorry for posting so little!

So, for people who actually still come to this place, some updates about my life (I actually have some things that changed)

1. People should all be glad I finally have my own working phone, a Blackberry, with Data plan.
2. I'm going to Avril Lavigne's concert omg happy
3. And heartpain - the money
4. Officially I have 4 parttime jobs at hand
5. And I'm a barista at Starbucks
6. My well steamed milk is happening more and more often now <:
7. Whoever said I can fit in easily to a Malay community - You're wrong.
8. My bestfriend and I are still close, we still fight, but we patch up as much (:
9. I'm finally going to leave my hair long.
10. I have started to let some new people into my comfort circle.
11. I'm scared,
12. But I let risks.
13. I'm currently at a stage where I'm too lazy and tired to let anyone else new.
14. I recently clocked >9.5km with my mother
15. I've an urge to bake again, hopefully before Best enlists.
16. He makes the best IceMilo.
17. Waterpolo attained 2nd. - Happy beyond anything <:
18. I went on a MIA streak recently.
19. Clar and I have this getaway plan that we hope to carry through in time to come.
20. I'm sick, and have difficulties falling asleep despite being so tired, for 3 nights now.
21. I'm a huge fan of Avril Lavigne actually.
22. I'm quite happy with the fairly new people in my life (At least one of them <:) )
23. Finally saved Best's contact as <<:) in phone.
24. NTU offered a place for me in Chem Engine.
25. SUTD & NUS haven't gotten back to me :(
26. I spend money carelessly now sigh :(
27. Meet up with the girlfriend was brilliant
28. RYong is a good friend (:
29. Mr Loh is a dear coach.
30. I owe him Pokkapeachtea
31. I love my friends.

Okayyyy my list got a bit long as I just wrote anything that came, haha I think I actually missed out some key ones but oh well.